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Best product for my son to wear to school?

Hi everyone,

My 10-year-old son has both bladder and bowel incontinence. He weighs 65 lbs. and has a 20-inch waist. He is currently homeschooled, but will be attending public school part-time starting in January. I'm looking for protection for him to wear to school. He urinates small amounts frequently and usually has a bowel movement a couple of hours after he eats (so he'll probably have a BM while in the classroom). He is not able to change himself and will have to go to the nurse's office for help if he needs it. If possible, he needs something that will keep him dry and the odor controlled throughout the time he's at school (almost 4 hours a day), so he isn't constantly missing class time for changes. We haven't found anything that will last quite that long without a change. He won't be at school for recess or gym class, so the protection doesn't have to stand up to any kind of physical activity. Do you have any suggestions for a product that would work for us? Thanks!

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?


First you did not say what is a matter with your son?

I feel for your son I know what he is going through and it is a bummer especially for someone so young.
You sound like a real nice person standing behind him.

You have two problems to deal with bowel being the worst because of the odder and mess.
There is a couple of ways that may help but first go to your doctor and talk to him or her about this problem.
One: there are some pills you can get at a drug store or a health store that may work but I can’t think of the name of them. You can also watch what he eats some food will small worse than others.

Second: you can use really tight fitting rubber pants with no air gaps in them. It helps but the telltale smell will still be there.

But the last one doctors had me doing for a while is taking an enema first thing in the morning every day. It works but also makes you dependent on the enema not good.

I also saw a plug that fits in the anis and plugs things off until you release it this is a medical device and from what I understand can only be had through your doctor.

Now as for urine of course briefs are the standard or most command but make shore you use one that is a high capacity like Molicare or Abena Abri-Form X-Plus Briefs.
But here again there is another way, which I use and that is a condom catheter and leg bag. This has no mess involved just empty it but they are hard to keep on penis and will take some time to learn. After many years I have found ways to aid me in keeping one on for an entire day and it can be used with a brief for bowel they will work together.

There is no easy way to be incontinent and live a normal life I know that I been trying for years.

You might talk to your doctor about an indwelling catheter but the risk of infection are high and he is so young.
I am 66yrs old so my doctor will order an indwelling catheter for me if I want it. At the moment I am self cathing three times a day but I still have many accidents in-between. In order for this to work it would have to be done every three hours 24/7.
Now this could be used on your son as there is little risk in self cathing but there is still more risk than using a condom catheter.

I don’t think I helped you much but I hope I gave you something to talk to your doctor about.

I feel sorry for your son I wish him all the best and I hope this is not going to be a life time thing. Incontinence is hard to live with but we do manage to and it sure beats the alternative.
There is nothing to be a shamed of it is life little tricks to keep us on our guard.


Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

Hello Alexandra, Lyle gave you some good tips, but I thought maybe I could summarize. For a child the size of your boy, you would need a "youth" diaper. To last the whole 4 hours, he needs a premium quality diaper like Molicare, not the junk they sell in most stores. These are not much more expensive, but they hold MUCH more urine. You will probably need to get them by mail order from a source like the proprietor of this BB (no, I'm not associated with him, he just has good products and prices). You can also use a booster pad inside the diaper to make it last longer.

As Lyle also said, wearing a tight-fitting rubber or plastic pant over the diaper is a way to decrease odor. The way I do it is to wear a generous cut of plastic pants, but over that I wear an elasticized sports brief, like Underarmour, to hold the plastic pants tightly over the diaper. This prevents air (and odor) circulation in and out of the diaper. It also makes the diaper quieter and much less visible to others.

I don't think a catheter of any kind would work for your son, given his apparent physical limitations. But wearing a high-quality diaper in the way I have described above, I find incontinence to be very little impediment to living a full and active life.

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

The higher quality diapers certainly have better urine capacity and hold together better. I would caution you about letting your son spend much time in a soiled diaper though. Besides the smell, fecal material is very irritating and will cause a rash in no time.

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

Thanks for the responses, everyone. A couple of medical supply places have recommended Tranquility, and we're going to try them out.

I know it's not a good idea for him to sit in a soiled diaper for a long time. I'm just worried about him missing class time when he needs to be changed. There will be times when that has to happen, but I don't want it to be every day. He has five minutes between each class and that might be enough time for him to get to the nurse, change and clean up, and then get to his next class on time. We'll see.

Mike was a very premature baby and has motor skill delays. That's what's responsible for both the lack of bladder and bowel control, and the lack of manual dexterity to clean himself up and change himself. He doesn't have a diagnosed disability other than that, and every doctor we've seen has told us he'll eventually grow out of it, it just takes him a lot longer than normal to learn those kinds of physical skills. Here's hoping he doesn't have to deal with this forever.

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?


These kind folks have already given you good advice on the practical side of dealing with incontiennce, so id thougt i would throw in my two cents about the emotional side and provide some hope.

Having develomental delays certianly makes things complicated, and it is important that he knows it's not his fault he has to wear diaeprs. I myeself am livning with a develomental disability, though it is more neurological than phyisical (PDD-NOS, or pervasive develpmental disorder not otherwise specified, which is on the autism spectrum). And i can speak from expereince that growth is possible with a DD. 10 years ago, i would have never thought id be capable of having a driver's liscence. Yet, today at age 26 i have my liscence. Moreover, i have visited a foreign country, held a job for more than a few months, maintained a successful college career, among other things. I also have had firsthand expereince with incontinence, now believe to be a result of inadequate pelvic floor relaxation. I have had floods, and have had to wear diapers. However, i instill a message of hope. I have been dry for some time now, and only wear protection as a precaution in public, but it has until this point proven to be unecessary. To go from flooding almost every day to not having more than a drop of leakage is remarkable. Thus, rest assured that it is possible to overcome this. If in fact there are no neurolgical abnormalities, and the entire problem is muscular, ther is hope that this can be overcome.

Fear not, and have faith.. I know how hard this can be at his age especially.. i;m not that old my 26.. and my childhood is filled with painful memories of accidents..Keep your chin up!

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

Also, Alexandria, it's not a bad idea to try out HDIS with a youth brief sample pack at You mentioned tranquility. I have tried them, but i don't use them. I have come to favor Tena Ultra. Now that my incontinece is subsiding, it is not on my mind much anymore, but they are good from moderate to heavy incontience. In your son's case, complete lack of control.. Tena Super may be a good bet if you can get it in youth size. What i really like about Tena ultra and super are the velcro tape tabs that make them infinitley readjustable, and it saves a lot of wasted diapers... Tena Super is roughly equivalent to Molicare Super plus, so ive read.. Depending on whether your son is mobile or not, you may prefer the cloth-like backing over the plastic backing to preserve his dignity. Some incontienent adults hate the cloth products, but i know for me it gave me better dignity, because they didnt crinkle. Tena Super also have curved elastics, creating an underwear-like fit. The downside is, they lack a waistband which is essential for a good fit.. Tranquility is a superb product when it comes to absorbency, but lack of a waistband on that product may be a comfort issue. If your son is able to communicate verbally, you and he can work to gether to find the best ones. But, Tranquilty is a great brief to start with..perhaps exeriremnent with both the ATN and Slimline. Dignity vs. protection is a delicate balance that we all encounter, and it is an important one. However, i'd say in the case of a completly incontninet person, protetion trumps dignity, because it would be even more indignant for his diaper to leak and his pants get wet than to wear a really thick one and be noticed, and stay snug and dry. Tena Super from what ive read gives the best of both worlds, but i have not tried them personally, so try them and see.. Again, and look for brief variety pack.
Also, for rashes.. Broderax's Butt paste is HIGHLY recommended among those in the incontinent community..

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

Thanks, Rob. Mike is completely mobile and very verbal. :) He has no cognitive disabilities, and although he took a very long time to learn to walk, he has no trouble with it now. He understands completely that his motor skill delays aren't his "fault."

Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

If he is mobile, then that makes it essential to choose a product desinged for someone who is mobile. In my experience, briefs with 6 tapes and a waistband provide the best fit and comfort, but unfortunately, i have yet to encounter such a brief in youth size.. Sorry :(. It does seem that the manufactures of incontinece products have only the institutioanlized people in mind who don't get around much and get changed frequently.. well, that doesn't work in the day to day world, and there are MANY incontinent adults and children who don't fit that sterotype who need adequate protection suited to their needs. Many find the Abena X-Plus to be superb...however, i have tried them out as an extedned wear diaper.. and they are a bit bulky. They are desinged to last much longer than 4 hours.. Tranquility, or as i mentioned, tena super seem to be a good bet. My favorite breif hands down is attends with waistband. HOwever, i have yet to have had the opportunity to buy a case...but then again, since my incontinece is subsideing, there may not even be a need to :) :) I hope that turns out to be the case for your and your son too! two questions.. what state do you live in, and do you have medicaid? Since your son has a disability, my guess is "yes" In some states, incontience supplies can be covererd by Medicaid with a doctor's perscription. I would recommend you look into that if you haven't already. That is how i was supplied mine.. It was a HUGE HUGE help.

If i can be of any more help..dont hesitate to ask


Re: Best product for my son to wear to school?

I wore diapers to school for years then began wearing a Mc.guire urinal a rubber sheath is worn over the penis this is attached to a bag worn on the leg I wear these today and have control over my incotinence this method works well I stll wear diapers but this urinal bag can be emptied when needed and you don't have to deal with diapers these urinals take some getting used to but for men they work well and don't show