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Frustrated, Annoyed and At a Crossroads

First off incontinence and OAB is an extreme annoyance just as much as it is frustrating.. I suffer from pretty bad O.A.B with urgency and sometimes unintended loss.. More recently the time between going and feeling like i need to go has shortened. I often go 3 to 4 times an hour during the day, less if i control intake. At night i take Oxybutrin XR and average maybe one to two trips per night. I have noticed when i do go the flow is slow and steady and difficult to stop.. I often feel like I have to go again after.. But the urologist doesn’t seem to think this is a issue.. On the topic of doctors good grief it’s a bit of a losing battle, complicated by medicaid.. If you have it you will understand, they have a tendency to pay for testing and maybe some meds.. But solutions yea not so much.. They’re idea of treatment is embarrassing products and not really anything else. The urologist wants to do Urodymnatics but i question rather to even bother as medifail wouldn’t cover solutions to what it would find.. Plus without saying much I’m not small and i’m 90% that there in lays the issue. But back problems and Medicaids refusal to resolve them make that hard to easily resolve. So there in lays the issue and or dilemma. I’m not really keen on giving up more continence, but I’m also really sick and tired of my life revolving around a toilet. I’m tired of fearing accidents to.. Recently I just used the toilet at the pharmacy and upon standing up more leaked out leaving a wet spot on the back of my pants.. Dear god the humiliation.. Now being as my the leaky culprit spends most in rather the out and my size it makes embarrassing product choice more difficult because some leak. So put your self in my shoes and ask your self what you would do? Keep going to the urologist knowing medicaid pays zero for any solution besides humiliating product.. Keep being attached to a toilet as a hostage essentially or use embarrassing product and risk losing more continence which u know they lead to.. Any advice or words of support would greatly be appreciated.. This is a difficult situation..

Re: Frustrated, Annoyed and At a Crossroads

I certainly can understand how you feel, I have been there. This is not fun, but not life threatening! It will take time to get use to the products you will need. I do not have medicade, so no help on any of the absorbent products. Eventually, I gave up being a slave to the bathroom. Using the bathroom several times a day helped to a certain degree (less volume), but I didn't like being a slave, and I was still changing the diaper several times a day. I GAVE UP,....I went to timed diaper changes generally ever 6 hrs except for night. Whatever happened in between those changes happened. I was slowly losing what little control I had so I didn't worry about it. When I realized I was no longer a slave to the bathroom it felt like someone took 1,000 lbs off my shoulders when I went to timed diaper changes. Sure, I had some guilt feelings in the beginning because I was making little to no effort to use the bathroom and really didn't care. I have "Urge" incontinence. There were many times when I wet myself when I might have made to the bathroom if I ran but most the time that didn't work. By the time I got to the bathroom and tried to unfasten the diaper tabs the diaper was already wet. I also sleep so much better, not getting out of bed several times during the night.

Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. When your already incon, who cares if you use the diaper? When was the last time your urologist asked you if you might have made it to the bathroom in time but chose to use the diaper instead? If you do some research on the Internet you will find it is VERY COMMON for incon people using a diaper to become diaper dependent and only occasionally use the bathroom for those that are mobile. Let me know how you are doing. email if you need to talk.