I certainly can understand how you feel, I have been there. This is not fun, but not life threatening! It will take time to get use to the products you will need. I do not have medicade, so no help on any of the absorbent products. Eventually, I gave up being a slave to the bathroom. Using the bathroom several times a day helped to a certain degree (less volume), but I didn't like being a slave, and I was still changing the diaper several times a day. I GAVE UP,....I went to timed diaper changes generally ever 6 hrs except for night. Whatever happened in between those changes happened. I was slowly losing what little control I had so I didn't worry about it. When I realized I was no longer a slave to the bathroom it felt like someone took 1,000 lbs off my shoulders when I went to timed diaper changes. Sure, I had some guilt feelings in the beginning because I was making little to no effort to use the bathroom and really didn't care. I have "Urge" incontinence. There were many times when I wet myself when I might have made to the bathroom if I ran but most the time that didn't work. By the time I got to the bathroom and tried to unfasten the diaper tabs the diaper was already wet. I also sleep so much better, not getting out of bed several times during the night.
Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. When your already incon, who cares if you use the diaper? When was the last time your urologist asked you if you might have made it to the bathroom in time but chose to use the diaper instead? If you do some research on the Internet you will find it is VERY COMMON for incon people using a diaper to become diaper dependent and only occasionally use the bathroom for those that are mobile. Let me know how you are doing. email if you need to talk.